How Paul came into our lives

Hi Everyone! I have really debated about this post. Below is an email that I sent to classmate from high school explaining how Ted and I came to the decision to adopt Paul. It is fairly personal but I feel that I should share how God is working in our lives. I do truly believe that God wanted this child to be part of our family.


"Well we knew while we were still in China adopting Audrey that we would adopt again. There is something very spiritual and powerful about someone just handing you a helpless child in a hotel lobby and saying "she's yours." We brought her home in Mar. of "05 and had planned to start the paperwork for another "healthy infant" adoption in the fall of '06. We figured we would have Audrey's adoption completely paid off by then. Our future started to change late last fall when I told Ted that "something" (better known as GOD) was telling me to think about adopting a special needs child. Ted said he would consider it if the right situation presented itself, but that we still had to finish paying for Audrey's adoption before we made any big decisions. January has rolled around by now and I came across a "waiting child" list from an agency in NC. There were about 30 kids on the list some with minor special needs and some with major problems. There was a little girl who caught my eye. She had a hemangioma birthmark in her private area. I couldn't believe that this child was considered special needs just because she had a birthmark in a area that no one could even see. I just couldn't imagine a child being considered un-adoptable for such a minor problem. As I was keeping an eye on this little one I would continue to look through the other pictures on a fairly regular basis. Their names would change colors if a family had committed to adopt them. Shortly after I started watching the list the little girl found her forever family. PTL!!! By now I started to have a warm spot for #11 ( Paul). I even showed Ted his picture saying "look at this little guy." We didn't really start to talk about adopting him for at least another month. I should tell you that the Chinese government only allows these kids to be on a WC list for 3 months. There are so many kids with special needs in Chinese orphanages. The government feels that it is only fair to the other children to be on a list for 3 months and then if there is no interest then that child is removed from the list to make room for another child's file. They usually only get one shot on being on a list because there are so many kids!!!

I had really started to feel something special for this child so I seriously told Ted that I wanted to talk about adopting him. Ted is a very compassionate man but his argument was "there are 1000's of healthy girls who need homes too, why not just adopt a healthy child again. We can't save them all." It's hard to argue with that because there are so many healthy girls who left behind every year. So I let it go. I started to pray that #11 would find his family. As time went by I started to be consumed with thinking about this child. Keep in mind that I had seen 100's of files of other kids but none touch me the way he did. I knew that #11 only had about 3 weeks left on the list. I actually started to feel psychically ill. ( I later told my Pastor that I felt like I was convicted, are you familiar with that term in a religious sense). I kept talking to Ted about it and his reply was the same. I even called my sister thinking that she would be on my side and give me some ammunition to change Ted's mind. I was shocked when she responded by saying that "Ted probably knows what is best for your family, you need to respect his decision." I cried and cried, she is always my support, my up-lifter. I started to think "well if Renee thinks it's a bad idea too, then maybe it is a bad idea". I'll never forget this night as long as I live. I felt the same heaviness in my heart that I felt after our 2nd child died in our arms. Just a miserable, painful feeling in my chest. I prayed "Lord, Ted and I have such a great relationship, I can't force him to want to adopt this child and I can't be mad at him for his decision." Then I prayed "Lord if YOU want us to adopt this little boy then YOU have to change Ted's heart." It was about 10:00 at night ( Ted works 2nd shift so he wasn't home) when I prayed all of this. I felt an immediate peace. I woke up the next morning and I wasn't mad at Ted anymore. We went about our normal routine. After breakfast Ted shocked me by saying that he decided that we should bring this little guy home, last night while he was at work. I started crying and crying and told him about my prayers. He surprised me even more by asking if I had a name picked out. Through my tears I said no, because I didn't even think he would ever be ours. Ted said, I want to name Paul, one because that's one of his uncle's names, but mainly because he said that Paul in the bible had to overcome a phyiscal disability just like our little Paul will have to. By this point I knew that as long as Ted didn't want to name the baby something like "Hector" I really didn't care what his name was. I was just so thankful that Ted was now ready to bring him home too. I called the adoption agency right at that moment and had his file faxed to us. We found out that Paul's Chinese name means "hopes of him being a strong man in spite of his handicap." They strongly recommend having the files reviewed by a doctor before you make any decision. By then I didn't really care what any doctor had to say because I had prayed so hard for the child to come into our family so we signed the initial applications for him that afternoon. Neither one of us has 2nd guessed our decision since. We can not afford this adoption but I know that God will provide for us. He already has in many ways since March. I was able to pick up extra hours at work just for the summer. Ted has only been at Crown for 9 months but last week he was promoted to group leader which will bring him to top pay sooner. It usually takes 2 years to get to top pay. We have applied for a few adoption grants so we're praying that at least one of those will come through. Thankfully Ted and I aren't too materialistic. All of our vehicles are almost 10 years old or more, so no car payments. We don't have any credit card debit. Plus we live in a nice but very affordable older home, that we can get a home equity loan to pay for all of the adoption. Paul's adoption will cost right around $23,000. I know that God will take care of us one way or another."


So, this is our story in a nutshell. I know that God is working in our lives. I have reposted the little picture of Paul that we fell in love with. When one on my sweet co-workers first looked at his picture she said "look at those eyes, he's looking for his mama." Well, I hope he doesn't mind that he's not only found his "mama", but he's also found his dad and 3 siblings who all can't wait to get him home!!!!!